As I write this piece, I have realized that it is now three something in the morning, the only beings that are awake are me, the birds, and my computer screen. Most of the time, the house is still and all noises fade into a thick silence. However, in this isolation, the random laughter I emitted from Tik Tok videos and the unexpected facetime calls from my friends have been filling the silence in the house. My day has traded places with night and now my life has become what feels like an altered reality.
2020 is no doubt one of the most unorthodox years I have ever experienced and I have only been here for eighteen and a half years. It truly amazes me how in the first two months of this year I was living it up every weekend at school and the only problem I had to worry about was if I was going to anthropology class or not. Then, March came and bestowed a global pandemic, an online spring semester, nationwide “quarantines”, and protest. Generations after me will learn about this year in future history classes and I’ll be able to tell dramatized stories to my kids about how I lived through an apocalypse and a revolution. Since this quarantine started, my every day routine has been very unhealthily consistent. I wake up at noon, alternate between Netflix, eating, and napping then, I stay up until four in the morning doing who knows what until I fall asleep. Virtual classes and quality family time somehow finds it’s way into the schedule as well. Though my routine is pretty stagnant right now, I have still been practicing what I preached in one of my previous posts about staying novaturient. I realized there are two themes I have constantly been thinking about recently that will help me grow — the power in words and the new goals that I have for myself.
Recently, I have been exploring the power of manifestation. I have noticed that when I am alone, enmeshed in my thoughts, I tend to fall into a rabbit hole and my brain creates little things to worry about. Eventually, the negative things I began to think and say, I started to feel. So to change this experience, I started writing down my prayers and positive affirmations and saying them aloud every morning and night. I can feel the difference that this practice has on me and my attitude on life. So, I make sure to keep this practice in mind when making new goals for myself.
I always had a desire to share my work but I was constantly matching that desire with fear of rejection, and questioned my writing abilities. It’s not that I think I’m a bad writer but it’s just that the critic in my head is a real buzz kill. That’s why I don’t post on my blog as I promised myself. However, this past semester I took a creative writing class which helped me discover my voice as a writer and helped me become comfortable with sharing and reading my work. The feedback was almost always good and I learned to silence that critic in my head. Now, I am constantly stepping out of my comfort zone and taking opportunities to exercise my craft. My goals and aspirations are partnering with positive thinking and direct action. So looking forward there will be more posts and we all should remember that whatever comes out of our mouths is a reflection of what we believe, so make it your duty to speak positively and you will believe it.
The Reflection Room 